Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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