youre lurking in front of me
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
