is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
