i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
