ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
