i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have aggressive nipples.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
