1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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