I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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