So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
thus making me awesome and them whores
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
