maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
