We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you win again, gameday.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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