That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
