i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
