I heard we made out
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
