i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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