Will you blow on my dice?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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