I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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