so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
