two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
