Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
do nipples grow back?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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