we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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