It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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