Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Let's get the cat blown out
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
