either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
