Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
