The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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