i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Please, let me fuck your mom
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
