Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
