We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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