you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We have started to decorate penises.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
