oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
