did you get engaged???
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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