there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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