Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
