Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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