WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
