Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
