just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
