You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
