Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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