She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
