tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
