it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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