areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize