he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
