it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
