Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
