discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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