So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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