Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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